Saturday, July 16, 2011

The Bus - 2nd draft

The bus passes on the hour
carrying empty seats of passengers
on the road to nowhere

today I began my own journey
passing all stops along the route
in search of fellow travellers

at the cemetery gates terminus they boarded 
the aroma of spent blooms
fillinged every seat

riding familiar streets
I look for my image in windows
staring that stare back at empty seats
unseeing, unknowing 

such is the destiny of the travellers restless
on who board the Flying Dutchman omnibus
doomed to travel forever, unseen
of the streets


  1. Seeing the changes in the drafts is fascinating. Makes me thinks more about what is being said. Thanks for sharing this.

  2. Wow, I loved see the changes. It instantaneously showed how the poem was improved by them.

    Great site, Merlene.

  3. I like the way you have shown the changes. It makes it more interesting to read and we can see the poem as a work in progress.


For some reason I'm yet to fathom I'm unable to reply to comments left by others so thank you for dropping by and taking the time to read and comment. Merlene