From my window - a Villanelle - the drafting process

This will probably be the last draft of this Villanelle for awhile - we both need a rest from each other and I need to look at other things outside my window..


5th draft

I look outward from my window

To where I handed offered you my heart

On fields where wild gazanias grow

Where petals in the breeze did blow

Away Aside your vow to never part;

I look outwards from my window

For how was I to ever know

You could so easily compart

On fields where wild gazanias grow

I told you how I loved you so

Yet still you threatened to depart;

I look outward from my window

I see it now the whole tableau

of lies you told me from the start

On fields where wild gazanias grow

And now you'll never get to go

No more deceit will you impart

I look outward from my windows

On fields where wild gazanias grow



4th draft

I look outward from my window

To the place where I left handed you my heart

On fields where wild gazanias grow

Where petals in the breeze did blow

As with Away your vow to never part;

I look outwards from my window

For how was I to ever know

You could so easily compart

On fields where wild gazanias grow

I told you how I loved you so

Yet still you moved as threatened to depart;

I look outward from my window

I see it now the whole tableau

of lies you told me from the start

On fields where wild gazanias grow

And now you'll never get to go

No more deceit will you impart

I look outward from my windows

On fields where wild gazanias grow



3rd draft

I look outward from my window

To the place where I lost left my heart

On fields where wild gazanias grow

Where petals in the breeze did blow

Upon As with your vow to never part;

I look outwards from my window

For how was I to ever know

Seduction was your work of art

You could so easily compart
On fields where wild gazanias grow

I told you how I loved you so

Even as you turned Yet still you moved as to depart;

I look outward from my window

I see it now the whole tableau

of deceit played out lies you told me from the start

On fields where wild gazanias grow

I will not ever let you And now you'll never get to go

Forever mine in No more deceit will you impart

I look outward from my windows

On fields where wild gazanias grow


2nd draft

I look outward from my window

To the place where I lost my heart

On fields where wild gazanias grow

Where petals in the breeze did blow

Upon As with your vow to never part;

I look outwards from my window

For how was I to ever know

Seduction was your work of art

You could so easily compart
On fields where wild gazanias grow

I told you how I loved you so

Even as you turned to depart;

I look outward from my window

I see it now the whole tableau

of deceit played out lies you told me from the start

On fields where wild gazanias grow

I will not ever let you And now you'll never get to go

Forever mine in floral art

I look outward from my windows

On fields where wild gazanias grow

1st draft

I look outward from my window

To the place where I lost my heart

On fields where wild gazanias grow

Where petals in the breeze did blow

Upon your vow to never part;

I look outwards from my window

For how was I to ever know

Seduction was your work of art

On fields where wild gazanias grow

I told you how I loved you so

Even as you turned to depart;

I look outward from my window

I see it now the whole tableau

of deceit played out from the start

On fields where wild gazanias grow

I will not ever let you go

??

I look outward from my windows

On fields where wild gazanias grow

A Villanelle containes two rhyming lines that repeat cyclically throughout the poem as a refrain. Consisting of 19 lines made up of 5 tercets and ends in a couplet. The rhyming pattern is ABA throughout with ABAA at the end. 

I can see this 1st draft will have to undergo many revisions before it is done - but that is the challenge.