He's turned the corner

He's turned the corner
someone whispered, and
I wondered in which direction he went
because it seemed to me
he was going nowhere
pinned down as he was
by the weight of his treatment
lines snaking from vein to bottle
     and back again
bells and whistles of nuclear medicine
falling quiet and white in the ICU

he's turned the corner
the voice insists
and I turned to see him 
shuffling from the shadows
toward the light while
     on the screen
a flat line stretches
into infinity

He's turned the corner

I'm not sure where this poem is going. I began writing it yesterday and it is in its roughest form.

1st draft

He's turned the corner
someone whispered and
I wondered which direction he went
because it seemed to me
he was going nowhere
pinned down as he was
by the weight of his treatment
lines snaking from vein to bottle

and back again

bells and whistles of computer medicine
quiet and white in the ICU

he's turned the corner
the voice insists
and I see him now
shuffling from the shadows
toward the light

__________________________________



2nd draft

He's turned the corner
someone whispered and
I wondered which direction he went
because it seemed to me
he was going nowhere
pinned down as he was
by the weight of his treatment
lines snaking from vein to bottle

and back again

bells and whistles of computer nuclear medicine
quiet and white in the ICU

he's turned the corner
the voice insists
and I turned to see him see him now
shuffling from the shadows
toward the light

__________________________________

3rd draft

He's turned the corner,
someone whispered, and
I wondered which direction he went
because it seemed to me
he was going nowhere
pinned down as he was
by the weight of his treatment
lines snaking from vein to bottle

and back again

bells and whistles of nuclear medicine
growing quiet and white in the ICU

he's turned the corner
the voice insists
and I turned to see him 
shuffling from the shadows
toward the light


while, on the screen
a flat line stretches
to infinity

Learning - slowly

1st draft

I am learning: true value
is determined by the dollar amount
placed on goods and services

bargain basement prices and give-aways
allotted minimal value

acts of altruism ridiculed
kindness misinterpreted

respect for intentions
an alien concept

to the takers

the dichotomy: financial remuneration
an additional reward
when value is shown

through enthusiasm and joy
of those you'd happily give to

for their understanding of
the essence of giving.

____________________________________

2nd draft

I am learning: true value

is determined by the dollar amount

placed on goods and services

bargain basement prices and give-aways

allotted minimal value

acts of altruism ridiculed

kindness misinterpreted

respect for intentions

an alien concept

to the takers

the dichotomy: financial remuneration

an additional reward

when value is shown

through enthusiasm and joy

of from those you'd gift to freely happily give to

for their understanding of

the essence of giving.

Judging Short Story Workshop

Peparations for the Judging Short Story workshop have kept me busy this month, sending out stories to participants for 'judging' and comments prior to the final session. This course covers all aspects of short story judging, from receiving and shortlisting entries, working coperatively as part of a judging or selection panel, to preparation of judges reports. With the additional components for setting competition guidelines and judging criteria, this is course would be of benefit for any community writing group intending to run their own competition in either short story or poetry.

Missing in (in)action

Not a lot happening on this page for the past few days and here it is October, and the beginning of this month's challenge, already. With no preparation, I've decided to continue last month style diversity without the theme.


In the middle of the night
a neighbouring dog
nipped at the edges of my sleep
shaking me awake
with terrier tenacity and
a torment of ill timed barks

in the morning I snarled
into my food bowl
...a dangerous breed




2nd draft



In the middle of the night
a neighbouring dog
nipped at the edges edge of my sleep
shaking me awake
with terrier tenacity and
a torment of ill timed barks

in the morning I
snarled snarled
into my food bowl
...a dangerous breed