August poetry challenge 6th Triolet

22nd August 1sd raft

If I could chose my time to die
It would be in a moment of bliss
Before it passed on a whispered sigh
If I could chose my time to die
I'd offer this as my last goodbye
An act of absolute submiss
If I could chose my time to die
It would be in a moment of bliss

23 August 2nd draft


If I could chose my time to die
It would be in a moment of bliss
Before it passed on a whispered sigh
If I could chose my time to die
I'd offer this up as my last goodbye
An act of absolute submiss
If I could chose my time to die
It would be in a moment of bliss

5th Triolet - August challenge 1st draft

Can love survive the deep corrosion
of acidic words etched on the heart
thrown in anger-fueled explosion
Can love survive the deep corrosion,
the disbelief, the trust erosion
when romance threatens to depart
Can love survive the deep corrosion
of acidic words etched on the heart

4th Triolet - August challenge

1st draft - Saturday 13 August

He steps between cracks, not tempting fate
twists around ladders and avoids black cats
he's always on time, never one second late
he steps between cracks, not tempting fate
his wardrobe is ordered according to date
making perfect sense to this bureaucrat
he steps between cracks, not tempting fate
twists around ladders and avoids black cats.

___________________________________

2nd draft - Sunday 14 August

He steps between cracks, not never tempting fate
twists around ladders and avoids black cats
he's always on time, notever one second late
he steps between cracks, not never tempting fate
his wardrobe is ordered according to date
?
he steps between cracks, not never tempting fate
twists around ladders and avoids black cats

____________________________________

3rd draft - Monday 15 August


He steps between cracks, never tempting fate
twists around ladders and avoids black cats
he's always on time, not one second late
he steps between cracks, never tempting fate
his wardrobe is ordered according to date
he checks behind doors and under the mats
he steps between cracks, never tempting fate
twists around ladders and avoids black cats

___________________________________-



4th draft - Tuesday 16 August


He steps between cracks, never tempting fate
twists around ladders and avoids black cats
he's always on time, not one second late
he steps between cracks, never tempting fate
his wardrobe is ordered according to date
he checks behind doors and under the all mats
he steps between cracks, never tempting fate
twists around ladders and avoids black cats

3rd Triolet for August poetry challenge

1st draft

I walk between clouds to keep the sun on my face
Avoiding all shadows that are heavy with grief
Knowing days lost to darkness I can never replace
I walk between clouds to keep the sun on my face
?
?
I walk between clouds to keep the sun on my face
Avoiding all shadows that are heavy with grief

____________________________________

2nd draft


I walk between clouds to keep the sun on my face
Avoiding all shadows that are heavy with grief
Knowing days lost to darkness I can never replace
I walk between clouds to keep the sun on my face
Though thunderheads threaten to take up the chase
They cannot keep pace with my belief 
I walk between clouds to keep the sun on my face
Avoiding all shadows that are heavy with grief

1st Triolet - 3rd draft

I think this is going from bad to worse:


In a field of flowers, she sits alone
weaving daisies into chains
humming in a monotone each bloom a perfect gemstone
in a field of flowers, she sits alone
the only thing she'd ever known
this weaving into skeins
in a field of flowers, she sits alone
weaving daisies into chains.

1st triolet - 2nd draft

This was the first Triolet I wrote on the 1st day of this month's challenge, then set it aside as I couldn't think of any changes. I'm still not happy with the 6th line but something may come to me.


In a field of flowers, she sits alone
weaving daisies into chains
humming in a monotone
in a field of flowers, she sits alone
as if it's all she's ever the only thing she'd ever known
this weaving into skeins
in a field of flowers, she sits alone
weaving daisies into chains.

4th draft - Triolet

The poet's pen is a soul laid bare
Weeping tears on an empty page
Words of angst mixed with despair
The poet's pen is a soul laid bare
As to the world he must declare
The loss and grief that feeds his rage
The poet's pen is a soul laid bare
Weeping tears on an empty page




This is the last draft of this one for awhile. Now I'll set it aside and let it stew until I can see it with a clearer eye and tomorrow i will begin the next Triolet.

Triolet - 3rd draft

The poet's pen is a soul laid bare
Weeping tears on an empty page
Words of grief angst mixed with despair
The poet's pen is a soul laid bare
Forsaken love his to As to the world he must declare
From a metaphorical stage
As The loss and grief feeds his rage
The poet's pen is a soul laid bare
Weeping tears on an empty page.

Triolet - 2nd draft

The poet's pen is a soul laid bare
Weeping tears on an empty page
Words of grief angst mixed with despair
The poet's pen is a soul laid bare
Forsaken love his to declare
From a metaphorical stage
As loss and grief feeds his rage
The poet's pen is a soul laid bare
Weeping tears on an empty page.


I'm still not happy with the 6th line - nor the 5th. I can see I've got plenty of work still ahead with this one.

The Poet's Pen - 1st draft Triolet

The poet's pen is a soul laid bare
Weeping tears on an empty page
Words of grief mixed with despair
The poet's pen is a soul laid bare
Forsaken love his to declare
From a metaphorical stage
The poet's pen is a soul laid bare
Weeping tears on an empty page.


After yesterday's effort ground to a dismal halt I thought I have another try - I'm not sure of the 7th line here - all comments appreciated - thank you.

Still a 1st draft - Triolet

I can't think of any changes to make to this - may come back to it later.


In a field of flowers, she sits alone
weaving daisies into chains
humming in a monotone
in a field of flowers, she sits alone
as if it's all she's ever known
this weaving into skeins
in a field of flowers, she sits alone
weaving daisies into chains.

Triolet - 1st draft

In a field of flowers, she sits alone
weaving daisies into chains
humming in a monotone
in a field of flowers, she sits alone
as if it's all she's ever known
this weaving into skeins
in a field of flowers, she sits alone
weaving daisies into chains.